Precious
Screaming for the master’s war.
Mack Devlin did two versions of the audio.
”Hero version”
“Smeagol Version”
Down beneath the roots of mountains, far from sunlight, far from fountains,
In the damp and dripping darkness where the eyeless fishes soar—
We were hunched and we were hiding, in the silent silt abiding,
With a secret pulse presiding, deep within the river’s core.
Something cold and something heavy, something we alone adore—
Held it here and nothing more.
How the yellow light would glimmer, making every shadow shimmer,
As the world grew thin and thinner, fading from the light of yore.
We had forgotten fields of clover, now the night is never over,
And the “Baggins” is a rover, sneaking through our stone-cold door.
He has stolen all our beauty, left us wretched, left us poor—
Left us starving on the floor.
It was fair and it was golden, to no master was it holden,
Though its weight was vast and olden, forged in fires of ancient lore.
We would stroke it, we would sleep there, we had secrets we could keep there,
In the trenches, dark and deep there, where the sightless shadows snore.
But the gold began to hunger, craving what it was before—
Screaming for the master’s war.
“My precious,” so I named it, though the cruel fire had framed it,
And the heavy weight had tamed it, to the master-will it bore.
In our palm it felt like velvet, while our wretched spirit held it,
Deep in mountain-roots we shelved it, guarding what we did adore.
But the thief has snatched our treasure, left us broken to the core—
Lost our precious—evermore.
Now we crawl through crag and bramble, in a frantic, fevered scramble,
Where the jagged briars gamble for the skin the briars tore.
And our eyes are wide and burning, for the circle we are yearning,
To the shadow-land returning, as we haunt the blackening shore.
And our soul, a tattered remnant, trapped behind a closing door—
Shall be Sméagol—nevermore.
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You really captured the ritual, haunted cadence of Tolkien’s world here without making it feel like simple imitation. The repetition and sound structure carry that sense of obsession and corrosion beautifully.
“But the gold began to hunger” especially stood out to me. That’s where the Ring stops feeling like an object and becomes a living will again.
There’s something genuinely tragic in the way Sméagol’s voice keeps collapsing into devotion and ruin at the same time.
Stefan!!!! Brilliant writing!!!! Oh my goodness!!!!
Mack!!! Wow! Phenomenal voice over!!!! What the heck n’ stuff guys!!!!!
I listened ta Smeagol first … gonna go fer the Hero Version next!!!